Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
