My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
