Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
