You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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