Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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