i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
