I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
