I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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