what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
