We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize