she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
