I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize