I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
