I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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