I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
