Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
