I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
