he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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