Porn is love you can see.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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