Christians are straight up FREAKS
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
