Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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