so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
