would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
