I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
