I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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