Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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