I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
