How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
