I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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