Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wear drunk well.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
