i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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