so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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