Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
