well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
