dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
