Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
