We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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