You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
