Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
