Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
