a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize