I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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