doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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