so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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