I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
