And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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