I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
