You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
