walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
