Fuck appropriateness.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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