Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
