We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
