Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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