Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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