i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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