I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
