I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
