I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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