I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
