hell yes lets make some ravioli
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
