I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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